Inauguration Blog: The Arrival!

This is the beginning of short blogs (as I get time!) during an obviously frenzied weekend! Yes, I’m here in Washington (well, suburban Maryland) for the Presidential Inauguration! It was a relatively snap decision: I got a ticket reservation notice a week ago last Wednesday, made the decision and – here I am! Managed the drive in two days – arrived last night (albeit during DC rush hour on the Beltway – yeesh!)

That said, I’m doing this on the barest of shoestrings possible, keeping in note my unemployed status! No flying – I drove (thank God for the cheaper gasoline prices!) Plus I stayed with some good friends: Shelly in Atlanta, and Janet & Cookie while I’m up here in DC! Otherwise, there’s no way I could’ve done the motels, much less attempting car sleeping due to the sub-freezing temps!

And I do mean sub-freezing – like in the teens and low twenties! I thought Texas was bad! It does make a difference that I get a break from the cold staying with my friends as they use heat, plus the car heater on the drive up! It’s not bothering me the way it does when cold in Houston and it seems (to me) that the entire world is in a deep freeze! Plus the cold is much drier here, so it doesn’t knife through me the way the cold will in Texas oftentimes.

While here, I’ve been trying to get my schedule coordinated as more of the events have now been put up on websites, etc. There’s a lot of things to wade through, and most of them have three-figure or even four-figure (eek!) door fees! With America being in the throes of Bush’s “Economic Recovery” (or ‘Mental Recession’ or ‘Depression ‘ or whatever folks want to call it), there’s no way a tranny like me, with nothing but temp jobs, is affording that!

Nevertheless, there’s at least a couple small ticket items, and even the National Council for AIDS throwing a reception that’s free or GLAAD’s free event at a local bar here, so being resourceful and searching allows you to find some opportunities away from the chi chi, high visibility spots.

Ultimately, being here for this Inauguration is history! It sounds clichéd, but it’s true this time. America elected it’s first African-American as President, we’re also in the most difficult times since the Great Depression.

Additionally – out trans people were officially invited to the Inaugural Event! That’s a first at any Democratic Inauguration, though Kathryn McGuire attended the 1989 Inauguration of President George H. W. Bush – and even went to one of the Inaugural Balls! Of course this was immediately after she’d begun her transition, and she got the invitation under the presumption she was still her male (and very conservative) old self!

It’s also the largest inauguration ever, and is drawing folks from around the nation and the world! Even with the frigid temperatures, people are braving the elements to be there and make future memories to be retold for many years to come. If nothing else, Obama has had at least one small part in unblocking a bit of the economic freeze and get folks out, traveling, spending a little at least. He’s a one man industry!

Most of today has been getting settled in, computer set up and watching CNN News of the Presidential Whistlestop. It’s been amazing watching the crowds out in this frigid weather, standing and waiting for hours for a glimpse of the new President. One can see it being obviously special for the African American community – but there were a number of non-black folks of all race standing out amongst them as well, waiting for that glimpse in that same deep freeze! Everyone wants to watch even a piece of this history as the Obama family and the Biden family traveled by train from Pennsylvania and arrived in Washington this evening!

The one thing that strikes me is how different this election and Inauguration are. The feeling is electric. There is so much about this anticipation and the admiration for the incoming President that reminds me and my friends Janet & Cookie of America’s Camelot – the John F. Kennedy presidency.

Even beyond the crowd response and the clamor, just the look of the family coming in: very young and attractive, an athletic husband and a tastefully stylish wife with young kids coming into the White House. It really struck me watching a bit of the news coverage where the Obamas were chatting casually about things like Ms. Obama looking forward to the inauguration speech, and an easy, almost high-school type of good-natured teasing of each other and a few laughs. Even a lot of the messaging from both Barack and Michelle are reflective of (if not copycatting) the Kennedy couple.

We’re here this week to witness one thing: a chance to truly usher in an exciting change in America at the very least. While the jury is out for now, we may also be watching the beginning of one of the greatest presidencies in our nation’s history. We individuals who walked the blocks, knocked the doors, were delegates, contributors, phone bankers, hosts or hostesses for out-of-state campaign volunteers or simply voters for what may have been the first time ever, we’re not individually historic. But our participation in this process, and for those of us fortunate ones watching the ceremony in person, we get to say we were a small piece of this historic moment.

We can point to helping create change! Yes we did!

“When we dream alone it is only a dream, but when many dream together it is the beginning of a new reality.” — Austrian architect, Friedensreich Hundertwasser

Man Fashion: Tom Ford Top 10 Rules of Style

Right after my earlier post on Giorgio Armani's top 10 Rules of Style. This time, is Tom Ford turn to open up his top 10 Rules of Style in December DETAILS magazine.

Let find out what Tom Ford got to say in his TOP 10 Rules of Styles.


1. I don’t believe in playing around much with suit cuts. I like a fairly classic shape that gives a man strong shoulders, a fitted waist, and long legs. Classic simplicity always works. (WOW! this is what I always believe in too!)

2. Someone who is secure enough to be very present when relating to another person is sexy. In other words, a good listener always lands who he wants. (Yeah! guys got to remember this golden rule.)

3. When mixing patterns, don’t think about it too much—just throw it together. (Believe me! instinct always works)


4. I hate the trend of short suit jackets. When a man’s butt is showing below the bottom of his jacket, I think it makes him look like a female flight attendant from the back—not my idea of sexy. (This is funny! Lucky me! :) I don't remember I have any short suit jackets! Opps...How about you?)

5. With jewelry, I actually like bracelets more than anything else, but they have to be small and simple. Cary Grant always wore a simple gold bracelet with his watch, and I think that was very chic. (How about rings? I do like those too! :))

6. If you’re careful not to overuse Botox, then yes, why shouldn’t you use it? A little bit of it between the brows can make you look less stern and more approachable. Who needs to frown, anyway? (This is absolutely right...)

7. Just like girls need to learn to be comfortable in heels before they go out in them for the first time, a man should try wearing a suit throughout a normal day. I do most things in a suit—and sometimes even in a tuxedo—and so I’m really comfortable in one. (Alright, I have passed this test few years back! How about you? )

8. When it comes to grooming, keep earwax out of the ears and keep stray hairs and flakes of skin in check and you should be good to go. In the morning, I put ice cubes on my eyes and use lots of Visine. (Oh! Good suggestion on ice cubes, Em...Can this be at night?)

9. Time and silence are the most luxurious things today. (More so with Time and silence together....)

10. There’s one indulgence every man should try in his lifetime: If you’re straight, sleep with a man at least once, and if you’re gay, don’t go through life without sleeping with a woman. Either way, you might be surprised at how natural it will feel if you can get past the mind-fuck of stereotypes. In the end, it’s just another person that you are relating to in a physical way. (This is No No for me!! :P )

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Technorati Tags: Man Fashion, 10 Rules of Style, Fashion Designer

Man Fashion: 10 Must Haves for Spring/Summer 2009

Tom James Company, the world's largest custom-made clothier, has announced 10-Must Haves for Spring and Summer 2009 including the perfect power suit, tie, and collar shirts. This up coming season is enhanced with smart causal wear with the new Skinny Tie for every gentleman in and out of the office. Let find out the top 10 selection.

POWER SUIT
Every man needs at least one suit that stands out from the rest in his closet. One that exudes power, prestige and classic refinement. The purpose of the power suit is to present silently a commanding presence in the face of adversity.


The power suit is a vital component of any gentleman’s wardrobe, regardless of his profession, because it serves as his modern-day suit of armor.

CONTRASTING COLLARED SHIRT
Michael Douglas made it popular as Gordon Gecko, in the movie Wall Street, back in the 1980’s. It went away for a bit with the advent of business casual, but now the fashion gods have deemed it worthy again - and it is gaining in popularity. It is worth sprinkling in one or two this season, but do not overdo it.

Your best tie bet? Something bold in a complementary color, but opt for the new, thinner tie shape.

TIE ON THE DIET
Tailored cuts, trimmer lapels ... this season’s neckwear is making a statement as well. Finishing your new suit or tailored jacket with this new tie shape is smart and stylish.


SOMETHING GRAY
The color gray remains a staple in any stylish man’s wardrobe. While winter focused on heavier grays, spring runways have featured a variety of hues - from the lightest white-grays to deep, dark charcoals - with an emphasis on combining subtle and rich shades in the same outfit.



CROSSED HATCHED FIRESTONE 5 POCKET TROUSER
A perfect alternative to a denim jean and fresher than your old khakis. Made from Italian piece goods with stretch cotton and finished in a straight leg.



GARMENT WASHED JEFF ROSE SHIRT
Ivy league with a twist. Garment washed for softness and comfort. A very smart and fresh way for you to stand out in the crowd.



NEW ULTIMATE KHAKI
With a stylish double pocket in the back and front (for your scorecard, golf tees and extra ball), our new ultimate khaki is a great transitional trouser from the office on business casual days to the golf course.


If you are wonder why there are only 8 instead of 10 selection? Find out more about 2 additions at
Tom James Company.

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Technorati Tags: Man Fashion, Man Fashion Tips, Men 10 Must Haves

... Fear Itself

After posting my most recent diary on Daily Kos on Civil Rights not existing for transgenders, it elicited quite a bit of commentary (http://www.dailykos.com/story/2009/1/9/153647/7370/255/682170). Most of it was refreshingly supportive, and quite a few were surprisingly very knowledgeable on trans issues. Of course, there’s always the others who take issue.

One of those inevitable detractors started off with the hackneyed “I support and love my transgendered brothers and sisters … but ….” – followed by the backhand. As the other respondents replied to him, the ire rose and his anger continued swelling until his anger let some unguarded sentiment through. Ultimately his beef boiled down with a special focus on trans people who were unpassable – “big, hulking trannies,” who “latch themselves into [sic] the gay and lesbian fight [for rights]” and how he "never knew what violence was, however, until I saw a lesbian and a drag queen get into a fight about 3 years ago in Toronto. Even the cops were afraid to break that one up...and it took FIVE of them to do it!”

The respondent was gay and expressed an understanding of transgenders in his initial post. Yet despite the words, he didn’t know us as much as purported. He had encountered us and developed a cursory conclusion: if you looked passable, you deserved transition while the rest did not.

“I don't care if you approve.
What the f*ck is that gonna do?
‘Cause I ain't got nothing better to do
Than piss off motherf*ckers like you!” — Crossdressing G*ddamned Son Of A Bitch, the Frankenstein Drag Queens From Planet 13

But buried within some of the comments about ‘latching onto his rights’ or even the violence factor from ‘battling drag queens,’ something else was communicated – fear. There’s a fear of violence at the hands of these tough gender transgressors, a fear losing his rights (as an extension of his community) and even a fear of public embarrassment per the story that started his string: an unattractive trans person who made a scene in a restaurant due to disrespectful pronoun usage by her waiter.

I wouldn’t doubt that if I brought this up to the particular detractor, he would persistently deny there’s any fear at all, yada, yada. But it is fear of something he doesn’t know and feels would put him in a situation he couldn’t control.

One thing I’ve discovered throughout the years is this: Fear of the unknown is the greatest fear of all. Some will argue it’s fear of death. But really, the fear of death is fear of the unknown as well since many who've gone through near-death experiences don't have that same fear after.

Ultimately it boils down to this: the human mind has an incessant obsession with "knowing". Whatever the new discovery is, we want to know what it is -- thus, our never-ending quest for learning, inventing, etc. Even if we don’t fully know, we take what facts are available and connect the dots in order to flesh out the entire picture. Surety breeds familiarity and ease of mind.

On the flip side, when our ability to know is obstructed, our minds still try to estimate what it is that we're trying to know based upon what limited facts are available to us, if any. When we have that big gap between available facts and what results in our confidently "knowing" or comprehending, we then estimate the rest: i.e. “filling in the blanks.”

This allows our imaginations and our mind’s unease with “not knowing” come into play. We fill in the blanks with whatever our mind conjures up, which is often unease compounded and embellished, maybe even tossed around the echo chamber to other like minds and increased. The end result of this lack of surety is that you come up with full-fledged fear (think "fear of the Evil Empire" in USSR fanned by Reagan and our lack of intelligence until the walls came down and we saw it was all a paper lion with little of what we feared it would be. Replay this with Bush/Cheney and Saddam Hussein).

This isn’t to be confused with healthy fears. There are fears that are stable, and are fully correct due to aberrant experience – but only when applied to that one item known to be harmful or detrimental. When it then bleeds over into fear of other things, it’s superimposing or misplacing fear to the point of paranoia.

Misplaced fears notwithstanding, all phobias and insecurities and most paranoias, along with the aggressive actions tied to them all, can be traced back to a lack of surety which is itself due to an absence of true comprehension.

As he doesn’t know us, he fears the potential we pose. This is the core of virtually all of the long-term prejudices held over the years. It’s the reason why religious fundamentalists fear GLBT people, and mutually why GLBT people fear them in return, the kernel at the center of class-based aversion in societies around the world and the nucleus of hate toward ethnically different people such as racism rampant in America and around the globe. It’s also the core of what creates the wars, the likes of which we seeing in the Middle East, particularly at this moment between Israel and Palestine.

This fear of the unknown dehumanizes the object. It creates a scenario allowing one to avoid seeing another as a human being. This desensitizes the objector, as well as validating what they subsequently do to this object of their fear.

“I get confused, 'cause I don't know where I stand,
And then you smile, and hold my hand.” — Spooky, the Classics IV

“If we fear the unknown then surely we fear ourselves.” — poet, Bryant H. McGill


Once you know that what was previously feared, then suddenly it’s no longer the monster we had imagined. These monstrous beings become human, and you privately kick yourself wondering why so much energy was placed into the fear in the first place. Fear is the underlying premise of nearly all aggression, save for schoolyard tit-for-tat style retribution.

One truly frightening possibility is that fear in the hands of those in power can be manipulated by keeping the truth or the real knowledge away from those in which you wish to instill fear. When the facts are kept hidden and awareness restricted, it becomes yeast to feed the rising fear. This foments the subsequent phobic or exaggerated actions. Once attacked, it also typically draws the retributive action, which only self-fulfills the original paranoia.

As we’ve seen over the past few decades, there are those who utilize this unawareness/fear/aggression model to drive their enterprise. It occurs as a result of full-blown war with its recently witnessed “no-bid” contracting boon.

But it also finds sanctuary in simple social aggression, where churches warn of the impending “gay war against families and marriage” – or conversely, the gay advocacy organizations warn of the “right wing persecution” – and draw quite a profitable windfall for their respective non-profits.

Neither side really understands the other, much less truly wants to know the other. It’s preferable to their industries that they keep the opponents as feared and dehumanized as possible. It makes the job of attacking them more palatable and easier to sell to those they wish to support it. With mainstream media being bought into this perpetuation (they’re businesses too, and selling advertising to the very people who wish to continue the knowledge-restriction in order to profit), it’s now become the province of the internet to get the truth out.

Trite as it sounds, knowledge is power – the power to end hate. So many of the fears, whether transphobia, homophobia, xenophobia or racism, fear of other cultures or religions or other differences, can be taken down by simply getting real knowledge out to people, finding the commonalities between the disparate parties, and ultimately see the other party as a human being. The key is to find ways to get knowledge around the obstacles in its way: inaccessibility, apathy or laziness, fear of what one might discover and intent restriction from it.

Knowing the truth abates fear. Avoiding or suppressing truth generates and fuels it.

“There is not a truth existing which I fear... or would wish unknown to the whole world.” — Pres. Thomas Jefferson

“Get to know me!” — Jon Lovitz from his skit on Saturday Night Live

“My only fear is the unknown.” — magician, David Blaine

Weekly Selection: Levi's 501 Fashion Show

I have been Browsing YouTube today, and came across this fabulous fashion show organized by Levi's in Philippines, and thought of sharing this fashion show with you guys here.



Levi's 501 is always my top pick, how about you?

Man Fashion: Designer Dress Gloves

If you already own a pair of fine men dress gloves, than it is always not too greedy to look for another pair. I know Christmas and new year are over, but getting yourself a nice pair of men dress gloves is a piece of fashion accessory that will never go out of style, and it is a perfect gift for your friends and family members.

So before you decide what to buy, let me briefly share some of the basic tips for men dress gloves.

The Right Outer Materials
The outer lining of fine dress gloves should be exclusively made out of leather. There are many different types of leather and depending on the occasion and preference, some types of leather a better suited than others, such as goatskin, calfskin, or pig-skin or peccary pigskin. So the most important criteria to consider are such as durability, thickness and of course resistant to stains.


For more formal occasions, such as black and white tie events, the best suited gloves are made from white kid (young goat) or goatskin. For formal events during the summer fine cotton is also acceptable.


Inner Lining
The inner lining on cloves is carefully stitched to the leather before sewing the glove together. Lining is used to provide additional warmth and comfort. With this in mind, choose the lining based on your climate. The best lining for men dress gloves is cashmere. It is extremely warm, non-itchy, and very breathable.


Matching Gloves to Your Outfit
As a general rule of thumb, match the gloves to your outer coat or your shoes. My personal preference is white, but other common dress glove colors are black, brown shades resembling cork (light brown), chestnut (medium brown) and mahogany (otherwise known as dark brown).

Until then, enjoy shopping! :)

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Technorati Tags: Man Fashion, Man Fashion Tips, Men Dress Gloves, Designer Dress Gloves

Civil Rights Don’t Exist For USA's Transgender Citizens

Picture yourself as a transgender person, going out dressed as your new gender, when “nature calls.” Then picture yourself going to the restroom, only to by stopped and informed you cannot use any restrooms there. You can’t use the women’s and you can’t use the men – they have no facilities for people like you to use. Most folks would think this was something that occurred only during the Jim Crow era with “whites only” facilities. It happens as recent as yesterday, January 8, 2009, for transgenders in suburban Houston.

Fleshing out this story, it wasn’t in just any old public haunt either. This was in the County Courthouse in a county adjacent to Houston. A county where the person in question was ordered to come in for a court hearing regarding her divorce. The deputy who stopped her – addressing her as ma’am (as she was presenting!) – instructed her not to use either men’s or women’s restrooms, that there was no restroom to use, and that this was by order of the judge presiding over her divorce case. She said her attorney confirmed that was indeed the judge’s request.

A week from today I’ll be arriving in Washington with the intent of watching my first Inauguration in person. It’s heady times as a number of us in the Democratic transgender delegation will be the first trans people attending an inauguration for a Democratic President, Barack Obama. We aren’t the first, as one of Houston’s Republican transwomen, Charles / Kathryn McGuire, attended George Bush’s inauguration in 1988. But in many ways, we in the trans community have come a long way.

“Each person must live their life as a model for others.” — civil rights icon, Rosa Parks

This inauguration itself is historic in that we are finally electing our first non-white male to the White House over forty-four years after the Civil Rights Act eliminated America’s shame of no service or no facilities available for people of color. It seems quaint and remote remembering a time when such blatant discrimination was open and allowable.

The Civil Rights Act was long overdue, especially if one were to follow the true spirit of the preamble to the Constitution. It was proven that there was a demonstrated, systematic discrimination of a class of people, there was demonstrated economic hardship as a result and there was a demonstrated lack of this class empowered or elected to office, preventing any direct advocacy to rectify this disparity. Now codified, America’s finally made good on the promise “you can grow up to be President someday.”

Progress … but to this very day it’s legal to fire someone in this country for being gay or lesbian, bisexual or transgendered. Now most of these companies in these states will point to the fact that they don’t discriminate and have hired and even promoted gay and lesbian employees. Most states will point to an out gay or lesbian elected official. But when discussions of this progress occur, transgenders suddenly become invisible and unheard in the discussion.

“Vote for me and I’ll set you free!
Rap on, brother. Rap on!” — Ball Of Confusion, the Temptations

Trans people, even in 2009, are overwhelmingly unemployed and under-employed, or disproportionately “disemployed” from previous employers once their status is discovered, even if they were in positions of authority (as was the case with Largo, Florida’s longtime city manager, Susan Stanton).

Even in the most enlightened environ for GLBT people, San Francisco, only 4% of transgenders responding to a study earned the median income of $61,200 or above, while 59% earned less than $15,333. The only other category in the U.S. that has a lesser per capita income that trans people would be Native Americans (and don’t get me started on that as I’m a “breed”.)

Trans people are typically considered to be nothing more than the prevalent stereotype for male-to-female trans people: streetwalking prostitutes. Accordingly, the court system is anything but kind to out gays and lesbians, much less transgenders. Unlike other classes, though, trans people are incarcerated with people of our birth gender, meaning a female-appearing male in with other male prisoners. A study in California observed that 59% of transgenders in prison were frequently raped and beaten by male inmates, and often were punished with being thrown in “the hole” if they raised the issue with guards.

How many states can point to having an out transgender person as an elected official? Two: Missouri and a just-elected mayor in Oregon. The first out trans person ever was just hired a couple weeks ago to work on Capitol Hill in Rep. Barney Frank’s office. We have no state officials, no federal officials, and no way to access and directly appeal our issues.

With George W. Bush’s Real ID Act coming to fruition, even the issue of obtaining identification becomes dicey, affecting our drivers licensing and passports – and increasingly, states requiring photo ID for voting. We already experience Social Security Administration sending letters to employers to amend their employment records to reflect transitioned transsexuals birth gender, not the one which they publicly represent. The potential for being disallowed voting in all of this chills me to the bone. May there come a time when we may be turned away from the polls because of mismatched gender identification?

“I knew that I could vote and that that wasn't a privilege; it was my right. Every time I tried I was shot, killed or jailed, beaten or economically deprived.” — activist & Black Panther, Stokley Carmichael

I’ve been in an Applebee’s in College Park, MD where they wouldn’t serve us, and made it distinctly clear (as we waited for over an hour) that we were the only table that wouldn’t be served. I’ve watched a trans man and person of color (and leader of NTAC) blatantly passed over when they came to our table to take our orders. There have only incurred two instances where I was refused usage of the women’s restroom – one in a lesbian bar, the other in a straight bar. The latter instance, I went into the men’s restroom (not wanting the Houston police officer to arrest me) and almost immediately upon entering was accosted by a man who was clearly inebriated and grabbed me by the elbow – I left the bar immediately and never went back.

I’ve been directly let go from jobs due to my transitioning and transgender status. I’ve been pulled over by police early in my transtion, before my ID was corrected to my current gender, and had the officers interrogate me over “where I was working tonight” – i.e. where I was “hooking.”

I’ve heard well the epithets (even a couple from gay men during this election cycle as I was campaigning for Obama instead of Hillary), though the most graphic ones came from straight men, including a couple who were black. And yes, I’ve felt the boot of the more physical manifestations of discrimination.

It’s a historic time in our country, and I’ll also join in the revelry of beginning of physically demonstrating the promise of Civil Rights as we see President Barack Obama take the helm. In my opinion, it can’t come soon enough. Hope as a word lost meaning for me many years ago, but Change means a lot. And change we must!

Yet I also must keep in mind transgenders will continue seeing systemic discrimination from the courts to the workplace, our lack of employment (as I’m experience now) will keep us economically at a severe disadvantage, and the prospects of having a Trans person in Congress currently do not exist. That said, without a sufficient voice to make this issue known, this is a situation we’ll be living with for some time as there are many, many priorities inherited by this president that will preclude even the most remote chance of extending civil rights for Trans America. That hasn’t changed, and we must find a way to work around it until the day that occurs. Like the Isley Brothers sang many years ago, “we’ve got work to do!”

For now, if a judge decrees it, we do not have the right to use any restroom in public. If we violate the law, we should not expect favorable treatment in courts or in jails after. Even without violating a law ourselves, we most frequently can expect not to be equally protected by those same laws. Economically, we can expect not to see “equal” for many years to come, nor the subsequent entré into politics or power.

Civil rights are being realized by many and being taken for granted as fact. But for us in the Trans community, those rights still don’t exist.

“There is a higher law than the law of government. That's the law of conscience.” — activist & Black Panther, Stokley Carmichael

“I favor the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and it must be enforced at gunpoint if necessary.” — former Pres. Ronald Reagan